courageous chicken

i don't know lots about cooking and stuff. there's a running joke in our household about when D. and i first met, and the conversation went something like this:

j: what are you eating?

D: chicken tacos with lime salsa, a little [insert fancy name of fancy cheese i can't remember] seasoned rice and a glass of [fancy wine i can't remember either]. what are you having?

:::::very long pause:::::::

j: defrosted chicken dinosaurs.

:::::very long pause:::::::

D: oh.

he liked my roasted chicken. that much is true. he hadn't had much experience with poultry, and as it turned out, i didn't either, but i had the right idea. this is the much, much improved version, even minus the under-cooked potatoes i initially served.

roasted chicken with vegetables

3-4 lb chicken: doesn't have to be an intact one. you can use parts, or even just legs if you only like legs, etc. but make sure the skin is on, otherwise you'll have dried up chicken jerky.

one large yellow onion

assorted fall and winter vegetables you've got lying around in the kitchen or pantry

3 lemons

salt, pepper, and ideally a mix of "italian-ey" seasonings (you know. oregano. thyme. whatever. if you're lucky, you might have herbes de provence - it has lavender in it!)

olive oil

1. Preheat oven to 350. Now, if you have an oven like mine which requires a relationship management process, you may need to think about whether that's really 325 or 375 or really 350.

2. you don't have to peel the potatoes. but if you decide to do skin on, clean them really well. i've made this mistake. it kinda ruins the dish when you find you're eating grit.

3. wash off the chicken, inside and out. this will remind you to take the guts out of the middle cavity. also an important step i have, in fact, forgotten. although i only did that once.

4. slice the lemons in quarters, and stab 'em a little bit to break the pith. that way the flavor will leak out better when they're cooking. stuff them inside the now-empty chicken. you can also include other items if you'd like to mess with the flavoring - onions are nice, i've also tried orange instead of lemon. just remember that you can't eat whatever you put in there - it has high potential for bacteria being the lowest temperature of a cooked chicken. add enough lemon to make the chicken plump up to it's original-ish shape.

5. pour enough olive oil in your roasting pan (you have one, right?) to cover the bottom of the pan. not just grease it a little but enough to coat it. this is important, because you'll add vegetables later and they'll dry out if you don't have enough oil in there. not too much. just - you know. anyway.

6. it helps to par-boil the potatoes. that way (ahem) you won't get undercooked potatoes when you're done. par-boiling is basically quick-boiling. not totally. just enough to un-toughen them. you do not need to do this to sweet potatoes. (sweet potatoes, btw, aren't really even potatoes. but that's another day.)

7. cut up the rest of the vegetables you want to put half of them in there. greens don't work. carrots, onions, turnips, rutabagas, sweet potatoes, beets, even apples will work. not greens. it's gross - don't try it. mushrooms don't work that great either - the roasting time is too long and they'll end up looking like tiny turds, although they won't taste bad.

8. pour some more olive oil, making sure to cover the visible skin of the chicken. ignore the remaining feather-things sticking out of the skin unless the gross you out. dole out your spices and herbs. watch it with the salt. add more pepper than you think you should. make sure you get the chicken skin and the vegetables.

9. mix the vegetables around, getting them all spiced up. add the rest of the vegetables and add more spice and herbs and salt and pepper. yes, you can stuff it all in. in fact, make sure there's enough so that it's pretty tight in there - otherwise they'll lose moisture and dry out.

10. rule of thumb is 20 minutes per pound. if you're nervous about undercooked poultry, that's okay. i still get this wrong, so i always add about 10 extra minutes. but at the time you think it should be ready, pull it out and stick a fork in it and cut into it. it's okay. gauge what to do then.

11. when it's done, it's done. all you need is a salad.